Here’s a thought... it takes two people to get one person’s needs met. If you think about it, that is the definition of need: a necessity, duty, lack, or a requirement to create a well-being. When there is a lack, there is also an inability to meet the need yourself, thus taking another person to fulfill that. We get so caught up in playing god in our own life by trying to meet the needs of everyone around us that we forget that we need a little help (maybe divine help) to deal with our own. Yet, do you even know what your needs are?
With most of my clients, when we talk about how to get in touch with their needs and how to get them met, a few things happen:
- They are in denial of what they really need and think that actually needing something makes them weak.
- They become the victim in their own lives, sacrificing their needs on the altar of being the perfect caretaker.
- They are pissed that their unspoken needs are not already met by the people who should be proving that they love them by reading their minds!
Here is one of the problems of our human condition: we start life out with the ultimate needs of childhood and are taught to meet more and more of our own needs—almost to the exclusion of actually having any. It’s a conflict! We are told not to ask for help, to try this on our own; then, when we mess it all up, we are told we should have asked for help. It’s the ultimate damned-if-you-do-and-damned-if-you-don’t.
Needs are magic and magic fills our needs
Both the art of creating magic in your life and getting your needs met pivot on the same point: it takes two people to fulfill your one intention or need. You see, the “need” for magic and your own tangible need are the same things, a lack somewhere in your life that you are not able to fulfill on your own. If you had it, you wouldn’t need it—ergo, if you need it... you don’t have it.
It is magic when you get your needs fulfilled. It’s magic when you step outside the belief that created this lack and find the person or spirit that will help you fill in this empty, needy spot. When that belief keeps you in a state of lack, you have just given it all the power and turned off the god light that could help you meet those needs in the first place.
Even when we turn away from the Light, the divine keeps trying to help us anyway. You find people in your life that can fulfill that need, but you never ask for that help or you create impossible circumstances where they can never help you. Or worse yet, you let them help and then deny it or reject it—because it’s not as your distorted fears think it should be.
Tune in and turn on your needs
If you don’t tune into what it is you really need and ask for help, you keep yourself in that ugly state of lack and denial. How is it that we complain of feeling alone and abandoned but we keep hanging onto that lonely space like it’s a lifeline? This happens in every relationship in your life: parent/child, partner, friend, worker/boss, and even your client relationships. When you believe the fear that you will always be rejected, disappointed, and abandoned, that fear blocks not only your divine connection but the ability to see and respond to the divine in everyone around you.
Remember that a need is something that you do not inherently possess already. It is something that you cannot fulfill for yourself and must look outside of yourself to acquire. If you do not have the resources in body, mind, or spirit, then you cannot meet your own need; thus it takes two!
We’ve got a candle for that
We really do—we have the energetic support system to help you not only get to the real need but also a way to bridge between you and the being who will help you fulfill that need. Did you notice I didn’t say person? It may be a divine helper, and you have to keep an open heart and mind to find out.
- Start with the Needed Changes/Banishing Blessed Herbal Candle and light it while setting the intention of getting to understand your true needs.
- Get out your notebook and start writing, drawing, doodling... whatever gets you creative and flowing. Ground, center, and invite in your divine allies and start writing a list of 10 things that you need.
- Take that list of 10 things and see what overlaps and you can reword it, taking the list down to 4 things or themes that you need.
- Take those 4 things and ask to be shown what the two common threads are between them all. These two threads will probably be opposites of each other.
- Look at those opposites and ask to see what the core thing that they pertain to is.
- This is your deeper need. Take the time to really think about that need and where it is missing in your life. Write about it or draw a picture that illustrates how this lack is creating a hole in your life.
- It may take a few days of contemplation on this subject, but you will come to a eureka moment where you really understand yourself here and may even see who it is that can help you.
- Take this list or illustration of your need and place the Helping Hand Motor City Hoo Doo Candle (in its candle holder) on top of it. Ask that you are open to receiving the help that will fulfill this need.
The magic is when your needs get fulfilled and you watch as it happens!
Rinse and repeat!
Don’t stop now, you are on a roll! Keep this exercise going, working on the same need until it is no longer one. Then move on to the next one; pretty soon this will be automatic and you know instinctively when to reach out your little hand for help.
Throughout the month of July listen at 4 p.m. on Tuesdays to Keep It Magic Radio where Storm and I will be talking about needs—how to find them and get them fulfilled.