Sometimes closure is hard because we don’t know we haven’t done it. We stand there saying goodbye without ever closing the door and walking away. Talk about mixed messages. Each one of us are responsible for our own part of letting good bye mean this is over.
Back in the day when I was really unschooled in breaking up, saying goodbye, getting fired or whatever ending was happening, I lingered. I made that extra phone call and accepted them too. I didn’t want to say the final goodbye until the next fight happened. Later I’d feel stupid because all of that was so unnecessary. We were done, right?
In my book, managing closure is an art. It’s something that is learned by experience, observation or googling “getting out with dignity”. I know someone had to have blogged about a 12 step program for break ups. For some reason, it’s really hard for us humans to let go. Even if we never see the other person again, the pain of it lingers in our hearts and minds to be replayed over and over until we wear that recording out. Only to have a version of it pop up in a dream twenty years down the road. Have mercy on me, please.
Cutting the psychic cords helps with closure.
We do create psychic attachments to each other during our relationships. We can put each other under a spell and become quite mesmerized with each other. This happens in all kinds of encounters, not just the romantic sort. The cords become a problem when one wants their freedom before the other recognizes that the terms of the engagement have changed. We then can use the cords to try and manipulate and control the other. Sadly this happens to all of us when our timing is off and we’re just not ready to let go. This can escalate too. We’ve all seen what obsession looks like. Fortunately, we have a candle and a process for that. We all have free will and no cord can keep us bound to someone forever. Many times it’s not until we rebel against the other party do we start to feel the cords presence. That is when we fully understand what the problem is and can take action toward shutting the door once and for all. Full disclosure here. If you are not fully letting the other person go, the cords cannot be completely released and you will be vulnerable to new cords being connected.
Time to cut the cords and finish the closure process. For this ritual you’ll need an Affirmation Home Blessing candle and a bottle of Wicked Good Ninja Power spray. Start with creating a sacred space to work in. Call in your master healer guides and guardians. Ask to be surrounded by their strength and love. Ask for the person you need to cut cords with be surrounded by love and protection as well. State your intention for doing this closure ritual with love and respect for the both of you. The time for accusations and resentment has passed as your decision has been made. With eyes closed, focus on your body with the intention of finding where the cords are attached. You will feel a sensation like a pull or ache. You may also feel tickle in your throat, tightness in your chest, a belly ache or cramp. Where ever you sense a cord, spray a little Ninja power spray in your aura near the area. Say, I release (person’s name) completely and permanently back to (person’s name) with love (if you can’t say love – pick another affirmation, like respect, acceptance or neutrality). Next say, I call (say your name) completely and permanently back to (say your name) with love and acceptance for my part in this experience. Repeat if necessary. Then move to the next location. If, after all the releasing and spraying, you still feel uncomfortable there may be wounded soul parts involved. Call upon Kwan Yin to help you out. You will be asking her to take all the soul parts that don’t belong to you back to who they came from. She will also help you with your own wounded soul parts. If a part that is having trouble letting this other person go, she will help you decide what to do. One option is to have her take any parts of you that don’t feel it can live without this other person to a place where they can heal, like to heaven, or your over soul. Use your own language and spiritual beliefs. Be kind to yourself. This is a very loving thing you are doing for yourself. This work can also be done with a spiritual counselor trained is soul work. DIY Akashic Wisdom by Jacki Smith and yours truly talk about soul parts and cutting cords. Check it out.
Now it’s time to shut the front door. Take all the wrapping off the Affirmation Home Blessing candle and scribe your name on it. Your intention is to see your body and your life as your own. No one is allowed in unless invited. And like all good guests, they will politely leave when it’s time to go. Put the candle in a candle holder and light it. Burn it each day for up to 3 hours until it’s gone or you feel really solid in your boundaries.
As all things need closure, so does this article. There are social skills to learn, go find them and embrace them. Once you’ve cut the cords and mastered your people skills, closure will be easier, friendlier and keep your exe’s out of your dreams, unless they bring you smiles and gratitude.
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