Candle Ritual to Change the Family Dynamic Within

Storm Cestavani wisely interpreted this Full Moon in the sign of Cancer as a time to evaluate our ideas about our family dynamic. Since we are still in the Capricorn season, “doing magic” as opposed to “wish magic” will be the most effective way to make changes, if any are needed.

I don’t think I’m revealing any secrets here when I say, you can only change yourself, your perspective, and your attitude. If you influence a change in others it’s because they wanted it. It could be because they are impressed by you and want what you have. Or, it could be because your changes have released them from the bondages built by the family’s beliefs and corresponding behaviors.

The work to be done here is in your own backyard, meaning, you have to heal yourself and like ripples in a pond, you will see what happens in the family circle because of it.

Candle Ritual to Change the Family Dynamic Within

You will need a picture of yourself as a child and one that is current. The candles you will need are the Inner Beauty Affirmation candle and the Heart Blessed Herbal candle. Don’t forget the candle holders!

You will be doing a creative visualization meditation to connect with your wounded inner child. This kind of work can be done on your own, and if you need help, seek out a practitioner who specializes in healing the wounded inner child. 

Find time and space to be alone to do this meditation. Create your sacred space and ask for protection by envisioning golden light surrounding you. Remove the packaging and place the Heart candle and Inner Beauty candles in candle holders. Place the picture of you as a child in front of the Heart candle. Light the candle and state your intention to find and help heal your wounded inner child. Place the current picture of you in front of the Inner Beauty candle. Don’t light it yet.

Take three deep breaths, slowly and mindfully. When you feel relaxed, start observing the way your body feels. You are looking for areas that are still tense. Think about a time when you were hurt or frightened by a family member or a family tradition. The first memory that arises is the one your inner child is still holding on to. Bring your attention to the part of your body that seems to vibrate or hurt. This is where your inner child is living. Use your imagination to be in that place, call him or her. Tell them you are here to help them, be their friend, and whatever else you need to say to make a connection. When you see your inner child, you know they have accepted your help. 

Coax them to accept a hug from you. Maybe let them sit on your lap. Ask them to tell you what happened. Tell them that they are so brave and because of that, you were able to grow up and come back to help them. Let them know who you are. You are them, all grown up. 

Little children want to feel safe, loved, and accepted. They don’t want to nor are they capable of handling complex adult situations. Someone has asked too much of you when you were a child. This visual of you as a child represents that time. Now, as an adult, you are back there with your young self ready and able to nurture them in the way you both need.

Give them an opportunity to talk about it. If they don’t want to, hold them, play, and do all the things they want and need to do. When that feels complete, in your imagination, show them your lit Heart candle. Tell them that every hurt feeling and every scary moment is going into the flame and disappearing and it will change them. They will no longer feel afraid or hurt or hungry, or whatever pain they had experienced. Then tell them that you are here for them, to protect them, to be their friend, to believe in them. Now let the brightness of the flame reflect the brightness in your inner child's heart. In that brightness see their sweetness, their purity, their courage, see all their plans for this life. See the adventures they wanted to go on, the great and small things they planned to do. Feel the bountiful joy present in their heart. Let it remind you of the bountiful joy you felt in your own heart before it was interrupted. 

Thank your inner child for being brave and strong. Invite them to join you to go forward in life with more enthusiasm and confidence to try out some of the things you’ve both wanted to do. Hug your inner child and complete the meditation knowing that they will continue to grow with love and joy in their hearts now that they have released the past.

Open your eyes and feel the happiness you and your inner child have reclaimed. 

Now light the Inner Beauty candle. Honor the personal healing you just did with your inner child by letting the past go. Visualize all the energetic attachments that exist between you and the family members who were involved in that situation. Say a prayer of forgiveness and set them and the situation free. Watch as the attachments dissolve. Affirm that the past no longer defines you or your family. Take a deep cleansing breath as you are done with this meditation. 

Keep this work to yourself. As thoughts and feelings pull you back to the wounds of the past, release them as soon as possible. Allow yourself to be free. Allow your family to be free. As you go through life, don’t have any expectations of your family. Let be what will be. Love them as best you can and take care of yourself.

If needed, seek out counseling to help you process your experience with this candle ritual.

Share your success stories on social media! Find us on Instagram at @coventrycandles and Facebook at @coventrycreationscandles.

Lighten up your life with help from products from Coventry Creations www.coventrycreations.com and advice from Storm Cestavani, Astrological Life Coach, www.stormcestavani.com. Discover your potential in your Akashic records with Patty Shaw, www.facebook.com/healingwithpattyshaw/.